What are you most afraid of?

Fear seems like such a real thing. And the fears really move in at 1:00 am when you can’t sleep. All the irrational little facts that are floating in your head suddenly all weigh a 100# each. How do you battle your fear? Can you fight it? Have you ever tried writing down the fear and the worse case outcome and then reading it out loud to hear how silly it sounds? If you don’t announce the fear and get it out of your head you’ll keep finding ways to defend it. Intellectually you know it isn’t true but it could be, couldn’t it?

Why are we so willing to defend these frightening thoughts, thoughts that keep us pinned down and strung out thinking about them. 99% of the time (I love random % s I make up), anyway 99% of the time we are just revolving around something that really isn’t true. And if we actually spoke it aloud we would immediately take away its power. What are you willing to give up? What fear thought that makes you crazy are you willing to refute?

I find I hold onto my fears, they keep me in inaction if I don’t take any active steps to move beyond it, I am truly stuck. And that sucks because that fear track keeps playing over and over again. Convincing me that there is no action, no way out all is doomed. But deep down you know it isn’t true. Usually, it is a very small action you can take to move forward and dissipate the fear fog. Spell out the fear, on a blank sheet of paper, with a pen. Go on, I’ll wait. How does it feel? You suddenly can see the holes in the fear theory, it doesn’t hold water. Is the fear something big that you can’t control like global/climate stuff? Boil it down to a local thing. If your monster is really huge, just look at one part of it.  Just the ear, or an elbow, something small where you can start to gnaw away at the anxiety you feel.

Here is the big secret, you are in charge of your fears, not the other way around. You decide whether to give them more power. You are really the one in control!

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